"I'm talking specificly about Dane and Karen...I used too look up to her so much, she was more spiritual then I ever hoped to acheve back in my baby years of Christianty. She new what she beleved and unlike most people she stuck by it, I even saw and admired that in her before I was saved."
heh.. so she seemed to you.. if you knew her better back then i dont think you would have admired her so much. she hasnt changed. shes always been the way she is now.
"I remember the good ol' days my friends, I remember what we did and what we used to have...but times change, when did it come to this?"
yes, unfortunatly things do change... but why is it so hard to accept it? im not talking about you ashby, but in general.. you'd think we'd get used to it after a while of living differently.. but still we hold on to the things we had in the past. why?! why cant we just live with it and be happy for what we have??
"The more I connect with God, the more I'm starting to feel as though home is a very good chance of seeing me..."
yay! it'd be awsome for you if you got to stay and do whatever you wanted to do there, but it would be awsome for you to be able to come home too! you are missed!
ok so.. done commenting on ashbys stuff... what to talk about now.. hmm.. well.. i with FFXI had a chat history thingie cause there's some conversations id really like to remember.. sooo.. what do i feel like blogging about.. hmm.. well, like i said, lotsa interesting stuff to blog about! er.. well at least interesting stuff is going on sometimes.. dunno if i can blog about it.. well i might, but i dont think it'd make any sence.. O_o or something like that.. so.. ya.
im confused...(heh, no surprize there eh? haha..) *tries to think of how to explain* merf.
...well.. *thinkthink* geez. i cant think of a way to eplain without not makeing any sence. >< oh well here goes. im being convinced to try something different, and its probly a good thing, but the more im convinced the more i want to just go back to my old way of things, but my way is... dificult...i guess.. or soemthing like that..
hmm.. ok lets try a different way to explain what im thinking... Evanescence lyrics since thats what im listening to now. ;P
"catch me as i fall
say you're here and it's all over now
speaking to the atmosphere
no one's here and i fall into myself
this truth drives me into madness
i know i can stop the pain if i will it all away
don't turn away
don't give in to the pain
don't try to hide
though they're screaming your name
don't close your eyes
God knows what lies behind them
don't turn out the light
never sleep never die
i'm frightened by what i see
but somehow i know that there's much more to come
immobilized by my fear
and soon to be blinded by tears
i can stop the pain if i will it all away"
~ Whisper
"I tried to kill the pain,
But only brought more.
(So much more)
I lay dying,
And I'm pouring, crimson regret, and betrayal.
I'm dying,
Praying,
Bleeding,
Screaming.
Am I too lost to be saved ?
Am I too lost?"
~ Tourniquet
"I'm so tired of being here.
Suppressed by all my childhood fears.
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave.
Cause your presence still lingers here,
and it won't leave me alone.
These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real,
there's just too much that time cannot erase.
I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.
But though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along."
~ My Immortal
"I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now
Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all"
~ Field Of Innocence
"Can you forgive me again?
I don't know what I said
But I didn't mean to hurt you
I heard the words come out
I felt like I would die
It hurt so much to hurt you
Then you look at me
You're not shouting anymore
You're silently broken
I'd give anything now
to hear those words from you
Each time I say something I regret I cry 'I don't want to lose you.'
So stay with me
You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.
And you forgive me again
You're my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you"
~ Forgive Me
"how can you see into my eyes like open doors
leading you down into my core
where i've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home wake me up inside
wake me up inside
call my name and save me from the dark
bid my blood to run
before i come undone
save me from the nothing i've become"
~ Bring me to Life
hmm.. yup.. dunno how much of that makes sence even to me.. *shrugs*
Posted by Kenza at 1:49 p.m. // Comments: 0